Tuesday, September 13, 2016

The General

When I was little, before I was old enough to build Legos, I played with Playmobil. Playmobil figures have melon-shaped heads, smiles on their faces, and semicircular hands that can grip a multitude of Playmobil objects. Most figures come in boxed sets with vehicles or structures. I especially liked sets with pirate or police themes. I had a small fleet of pirate ships and police vehicles manned, respectively, by pirate and police figures. All of the pirates and all of the police were led by one man: The General.

The General came with one of the pirate sets. A golden cutlass hung from his gold belt; golden epaulets adorned his shoulders; a blue tri-corner hat with gold trim and a white feather rested atop his white hair. (Yes, The General really liked gold. In addition to the gold on his personage, he hoarded gold coins and trinkets in a vast number of treasure chests. He also took great pride in his white powdered wig.) The pirates despised The General even before I unboxed him. They knew he wanted to rule them, and they knew he wasn’t a pirate—he was a rich foreigner who sought to develop an empire.

Naturally, with loyal lieutenants and a well-equipped imperial army, The General conquered and ruled the pirates. Unlike the pirates, the police, rather than resist The General, forged a strong alliance with him. The police actively helped him maintain control of the pirates. They arrested and jailed rebel pirates until no pirate retained the will to rebel.

The General’s story was one story of many that I told with Playmobil. My sister had her own Playmobil sets, too. So did my cousins. We would often share the stories of our Playmobil figures. Worlds and characters intersected as we cultivated an imaginary oral history of our Playmobil. We did what children do. We told stories. We were storytellers. Now my Playmobil figures rest in bins stored in an attic. The General’s reign is over. But his reign didn’t end because I stowed him in a dark corner of my parents’ house. His reign ended because at some point, a long time ago, I stopped imagining his reign. I stopped telling stories about his reign. In fact, these sentences are the only written record of his formerly mighty empire.

German toy engineers crafted The General with an intended purpose in mind. They slated this figure as the enemy of a few pirate figures in one boxed set. But the German toy engineers who crafted him could never have imagined that this specific figure would become The General—the most powerful Playmobil ruler of all time, an adroit diplomat, and, for a time, my most treasured possession.

The General is like a piece of writing. Both are subject to temporality and sentimentality. Both are crafted for a purpose but often find another. Both are capable of permeating minds. As The General was a vessel through which my imagination flowed, a piece of writing is a vessel through which the mind of the reader flows. A German engineer can engineer a toy, and a writer can write a book, but neither the toy engineer nor the writer can predetermine what a child or a reader will inject into his or her work.

Now that I am a fledgling adult, I no longer tell stories with Playmobil. I write them down. As a writer, I am constrained—and freed—by the page. Writers cherish paradoxes, but writing as an art form is itself a paradox. It is the most infinite yet the most finite medium. An infinite combination of words can render an idea, but a writer must choose only one combination. To wrangle a thought into words on a page is a melancholy task. Still, in the hands of a reader, a finite piece of writing returns to its infinite nature. One page can conjure an entire world in a reader’s mind. Two readers may conjure two entirely different worlds in their separate minds after reading the same story. Here lies the nadir—and the zenith—of writing as art: Writing can only become art through reading. Reading, then, is itself an art form complementary to writing.

This explains why the best writing is simple. A practiced reader can only find complexity in his or her mind if he or she sees simplicity on the page. All writing must bind the reader in some ways to convey ideas and meaning—with the use of words, sentences, characters, plot, setting, argument, or others. But when a writer allows a reader the freedom to imagine certain aspects of a text, the writer allows the reader to engage in the art of reading. Imagination is the art of reading. The quality of art found in reading a text is equivalent to the quality of art found in the text itself. Good writers employ strong images and metaphors to induce the reader’s use of imagination within certain boundaries, without aiming to tell the reader exactly how he or she should imagine something. Writing should be specific without being too specific—another paradox of writing as art.


Similarly, The General was a great toy because it allowed variegated imagination—it allowed art. The General was a single, specific object, but I could imagine an infinite number of stories about him. When children play Angry Birds on an iPad, they aren’t playing with a great toy. While Angry Birds may be an aesthetically pleasing form of entertainment or distraction, it cannot be art. It is too complex. It entirely inhibits the imagination of players by explicating gameplay and narrative. A child would be better off with a rock and a rubber band.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Roy (Part I)

Roy was a small baby. He weighed only four pounds and two ounces at birth. Despite his diminutive size as an infant, his birth was a momentous occasion. Approximately five-hundred people witnessed Roy emerge from his mother's vagina behind glass panels in an exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art in New York. The museum sold tickets to the birth for one thousand dollars. Nearly one million other people paid four dollars and ninety-nine cents to watch an online live-stream of the birth. Profits from ticket sales and live-stream subscriptions would fund Roy's upbringing in the Museum until he turned eighteen. 

Roy's father was Kane Weest, a hip-hop producer, rapper, pop icon, fashion designer, and self-declared greatest artist of all time. Kane's bride, Kate Yaardashian, catapulted herself to fame with a sex-tape and quickly transformed herself into America's darling drama queen with her own reality show before becoming Mrs. Weest.

It was after the release of his fifth studio album that Kane realized his musical talent had lapsed. While sales were high, he couldn't see the artistic value in his own work. He refocused his ambition into designing clothes with Kate, but a stillborn fashion line failed to sell on the shelves of department stores. Yet journalists, critics, paparazzi, and social media users continued to document and comment on the lives of Kane and Kate. Fame warped Kane and Kate until their lives became their art. 

Mr. and Mrs. Weest were not unaware of what their lives had become. Kate reveled in the idea of herself and her body as art. She posed for magazines, did in-depth interviews, and even launched her own app with cartoon images of herself for users to send to each other. For a while, Kane resisted his transfiguration from artist to art. He spat erratic statements on Twitter and released a few angry tracks as singles that were quickly dismissed by music magazines. Kane determined that the only way for him to create art would be for him to create life.

Kate liked the idea of having a child. She liked, even more, the idea of having a famous child. With her husband, she conceived the idea of producing a progenitor and donating it to a museum. Kate and Kane convinced each other that this would be the ultimate artistic achievement. To create life and declare it art, they decided, would cement them as the greatest artists--the greatest creators--of all time. They would be gods.

They were right. When they pitched the idea to the Museum of Contemporary Art, they were met with unbridled support. The director of the museum, Ralph Wallace, upon hearing the pitch, is rumored to have said, "Human life was always fated to be the true actualization of art." It was decided that a child would be born and raised in a special exhibit within the museum. Ralph Wallace proposed that the child be named Roy. The name would honor the American pop artist Roy Lichtenstein. Kane and Kate liked the name and approved it immediately. 

After the successful meeting with Ralph Wallace in New York, Kane and Kate flew home to Los Angeles to copulate. 

Friday, September 9, 2016

Maggie and Sam

Maggie: Did you find that class as boring as I did?
Sam: Huh?
Maggie: Did you think that class was boring?
Sam: Not really. I actually thought the lecture was interesting.
Maggie: Oh. I thought it was pretty boring.
Sam: Okay.
Maggie: I'm Maggie, by the way.
Sam: Hi, Maggie.
Maggie: What's your name?
Sam: Sam.
Maggie: Nice to meet you, Sam. What's your major?
Sam: History.
Maggie: Don't you want to know mine?
Sam: Not particularly.
Maggie: Excuse me?
Sam: I'm sorry. What's your major?
Maggie: Economics.
Sam: Nice.
Maggie: You're being an asshole.
Sam: What?
Maggie: You heard me. You're being an asshole. You could at least try to engage a little bit in conversation with me.
Sam: I'm sorry if I've offended you somehow, but I'm actually being very nice. You're the one who approached me on the sidewalk and started talking. I was listening to music, and I took my headphones out to hear what you were saying.
Maggie: You weren't trying to be nice at all. You just want me to go away.
Sam: You're right. I want you to leave me alone. But that doesn't make me an asshole. I'm in a hurry to get to my next class, and I don't even know you. 
Maggie: You have no respect for me as a human being. You think you can talk to me like that because I'm a fat girl, and no one cares about fat girls.
Sam: Okay, hold up. I didn't judge you based on your appearance. You're not even fat. I was trying to be nice while getting to my next class as fast as possible. I'm definitely going to be late now, so it doesn't even matter.
Maggie: You don't think I'm fat?
Sam: No, I don't. And I think you're a fine person. I didn't intend to be mean to you. If I had, I would've just said, "Fuck off."
Maggie: Then why wouldn't you talk to me? You didn't want to ask me what my major was.
Sam: That's not because I think you're fat. Even if you were, I wouldn't care. And that's exactly my point. I wasn't trying to be mean. I just don't care. 

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Unique Copy Center

I was near Washington Square Park. I walked past a print and copy shop with a banner outside. The blue banner displayed red block letters that spelled Unique Copy Center. I stopped walking to gaze at the terse paradox. I couldn't imagine how or why a unique copy of anything would be produced. If a mother walks into a copy shop with her two children and orders one hundred copies of a flyer with information about Sid, the family's missing cat, surely the mother does not desire one hundred unique copies of the original flyer. A unique copy could contain misspelled words, a blurry photo, or inaccurate contact information. A unique copy would not be a copy at all; it would be a new original flyer.

Maybe the copy center didn't produce unique copies. Maybe the copy center itself was unique. I chose not to investigate its interior. I only looked at the banner. I disregarded the intended meaning of the banner. I disregarded the copy shop entirely and began to consider what purpose a unique copy might have. A unique copy could be many things. It could be a plagiarized paper augmented with some original paragraphs or sentences; it could be a reproduction of anything constructed from a different medium than the original; it could be a damaged version of the original; it could be a reorganized version of the original; it could be an unrecognizable version of the original. A unique copy could be art. 

Every piece of art is a unique copy. Every artist is a unique copy machine, distorting and reimagining reality. Artists produce unique copies of what they see, hear, feel, taste, and smell. Even the artist himself is a unique copy. All human beings--all species--are unique copies. We share nucleotide sequences in DNA, yet we exhibit uniqueness. We stoke pride with our uniqueness. We talk about our uniqueness so much that it becomes our sameness. 

But in the same way that a unique copy of an original flyer for a missing cat would become a new original flyer, a unique copy of a human being--a son, a daughter, or anything in between--would become an original person. An original person with original humanness. 

I walked away from the Unique Copy Center and went to class. I drew two unique copies of the Unique Copy Center's banner in my notebook.