Roy (Part I)

Roy was a small baby. He weighed only four pounds and two ounces at birth. Despite his diminutive size as an infant, his birth was a momentous occasion. Approximately five-hundred people witnessed Roy emerge from his mother's vagina behind glass panels in an exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art in New York. The museum sold tickets to the birth for one thousand dollars. Nearly one million other people paid four dollars and ninety-nine cents to watch an online live-stream of the birth. Profits from ticket sales and live-stream subscriptions would fund Roy's upbringing in the Museum until he turned eighteen. 

Roy's father was Kane Weest, a hip-hop producer, rapper, pop icon, fashion designer, and self-declared greatest artist of all time. Kane's bride, Kate Yaardashian, catapulted herself to fame with a sex-tape and quickly transformed herself into America's darling drama queen with her own reality show before becoming Mrs. Weest.

It was after the release of his fifth studio album that Kane realized his musical talent had lapsed. While sales were high, he couldn't see the artistic value in his own work. He refocused his ambition into designing clothes with Kate, but a stillborn fashion line failed to sell on the shelves of department stores. Yet journalists, critics, paparazzi, and social media users continued to document and comment on the lives of Kane and Kate. Fame warped Kane and Kate until their lives became their art. 

Mr. and Mrs. Weest were not unaware of what their lives had become. Kate reveled in the idea of herself and her body as art. She posed for magazines, did in-depth interviews, and even launched her own app with cartoon images of herself for users to send to each other. For a while, Kane resisted his transfiguration from artist to art. He spat erratic statements on Twitter and released a few angry tracks as singles that were quickly dismissed by music magazines. Kane determined that the only way for him to create art would be for him to create life.

Kate liked the idea of having a child. She liked, even more, the idea of having a famous child. With her husband, she conceived the idea of producing a progenitor and donating it to a museum. Kate and Kane convinced each other that this would be the ultimate artistic achievement. To create life and declare it art, they decided, would cement them as the greatest artists--the greatest creators--of all time. They would be gods.

They were right. When they pitched the idea to the Museum of Contemporary Art, they were met with unbridled support. The director of the museum, Ralph Wallace, upon hearing the pitch, is rumored to have said, "Human life was always fated to be the true actualization of art." It was decided that a child would be born and raised in a special exhibit within the museum. Ralph Wallace proposed that the child be named Roy. The name would honor the American pop artist Roy Lichtenstein. Kane and Kate liked the name and approved it immediately. 

After the successful meeting with Ralph Wallace in New York, Kane and Kate flew home to Los Angeles to copulate.